It'll Never Bear Up In Court

'They were like those who swing axes in a forest of trees.' ~ Psalm 74:5




I was telling Ashlee the other day about a funny--no, a WEIRD--story about my cousin's ex-husband. Let's call him ... Mike (that is his name, after all). Mike and my cousin were eating lunch in the park one day; soon thereafter, Mike made his way to his favourite part of the meal (easily deduced by his somewhat large girth), dessert, which happened to exist in the form of a Ding-Dong on that particularly lovely day.
As Mike dived into his pet confection--and completely undetected by him--a bird overhead, shall we say, 'tagged' him in a manner in which birds are famous. Now, Mike is a smart man--he's not very observant--but he is smart. That being said, he confused the bird's 'deposit' for the creamy filling of his Ding-Dong. (Let the reader understand.)
To make a long story short, Mike soon put two-and-two together and commenced to pitching a wall-eyed fit because--and I still don't understand to this day how he concocted such a scenario--he was convinced that eating the bird's 'dispensables' was going to give him ... spina bifida of all things.
The story of the spina bifida-inducing Ding-Dong is legend in our family. (But, then again, you may need to know Mike to think it's funny.)




What would happen when eight ordinary teens set out on a mission to meet the underground church in Vietnam?




‘If I had a thousand heads, I would rather see them cut off one by one rather than give a recantation.’ ~ Martin Luther




Tiny Muskens, the bishop of Breda, told the Dutch TV program "Network" Monday night he believes God doesn't mind what he is called, Radio Netherlands Worldwide reported.




Harry Potter, please call your office.




‘And when the rash representatives in our halls of legislation and our newspapers shall have sown the wind, who will reap the whirlwind? When they have scattered the dragon’s teeth, who must meet the horrent crop which they will produce? Not they alone, but you, your sons, your friends and their sons. So that these misleaders of people, while you so weakly connive at their indiscretion may indirectly be preparing the weapon which is to pierce the bosom of your fair-haired boy, and summoning the birds of prey, which are to pick out those eyes whose joy is now the light of your happy homes. For your own sakes, for your children’s sake, arise, declare that from this day no money, no vote, no influence of yours shall go to the maintenance of any other counsels than those of moderation, righteousness and manly forbearance.’ ~ Rev. R. L. Dabney




The World Congress of Families says it's pleased the British Broadcasting Company has finally realized Europe is experiencing demographic winter and acknowledged that there's a "birth dearth" taking place on the continent.




‘I know Edith Shain was the woman I kissed because she had the biggest mouth of anybody I’ve ever kissed in my life – it went from ear to ear. I’ll never forget it.’




Raising Maidens of Virtue.




With hugs and cheers Sunday, members of Atlanta's oldest Lutheran church celebrated the pastor at the center of a battle over the treatment of gay clergy in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America.




'I have often thought how little I should like to have to prove organic evolution in a court of law.' ~ Errol White, A Little on Lungfishes.




Have you ever wondered which version of the Bible [the Pilgrims] brought to America on the Mayflower? There was the King James Version of 1611, but there was an earlier version – one not sanctioned by the government – the 1599 Geneva Bible, a forgotten yet priceless treasure.





Wow!! Talk about EFFECTUAL calling! (I wonder what happens if you reject their message?!)