I must have repeated Psalm 25:7 ('The Lord is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts and I am helped...') a hundred times to myself this past Sunday as I steeled myself to face what is perhaps my greatest fear: public speaking. In this particluar case, I, as a deacon, was called upon to offer the prayer of dedication for the tithes and offerings during the service. Ordinarily, I would prefer to have bamboo shoots shoved under my fingernails than perform in public, but with the prayers of my wife and many friends God saw me through it. In addition to prayer and an utter dependence upon the Lord to get me through, I was inspired by an account given regarding a personal hero, Stonewall Jackson:
'On one occasion [the Rev.] Dr. White called
upon [Jackson] to pray in public. He was so
much confused that Dr. White told him, some
days afterward, that he would never require
so unpleasant a task of him again. [Jackson]
replied that it was a cross to him to pray in
public, but that he had made up his mind to
bear it, and did not wish to be excused. He
persevered, and became very fluent and
easy in public prayer.'
That, too, is my prayer--that God will grant me the mercy to overcome what I know is an irrational fear, yet all too real at the same time. It is my dragon to slay. I suspect that I will grow more at ease with each ascent to the pulpit, remembering what Pastor Coleman told those of us in the church officers training class this past semester: To be an effective leader in God's Church, you cannot take counsel of your fears.
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