Quotables

Listed below are some of my favouring movie quotes from some of my favourite movies--many, or most, of which I won't watch again due to their inappropriate nature. Still, we'll always have Wally World!


~ Raising Arizona:

H. I.: ‘Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.’

Evelle: ‘These [balloons] blow up into funny shapes and all?’
Grocer: ‘Well no... unless round is funny.’

FBI Agent: ‘Sir, we discovered you were born Nathan Huffheins.’
Nathan Arizona, Sr: ‘Yeah, I changed my name. What of it?’
FBI Agent: ‘Can you give us an indication why?’
Nathan Arizona, Sr: ‘Would you shop at a store called Unpainted Huffheins?’

~ Caddy Shack:

Sandy: ‘I want you to kill every gopher on the golf course!’
Carl Spackler: ‘Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key...’
Sandy: ‘Not golfers, you great fool! Gophers! The *little* *brown*, *furry* *rodents* -!’
Carl Spackler: ‘We can do that; we don't even have to have a reason. All right, let's do the same thing, but with gophers -!’

Danny Noonan: ‘I've always wanted to go to college.’
Judge Smails: ‘Well, the world needs ditch diggers, too.’

Judge Smails: ‘Danny, I'm having a party this weekend.’
[Pauses a beat]
Judge Smails: ‘How would you like to come over and mow my lawn? Hmmm? Hmmm?’

~ Fletch:

Dr. Joseph Dolan: ‘Right. Now, how long have you had these pains, Mr. Barber?’
Fletch: ‘No, that's "Babar".’
Dr. Joseph Dolan: ‘Two B's?’
Fletch: ‘One B: B-A-B-A-R.’
Dr. Joseph Dolan: ‘That's two.’
Fletch: ‘Yeah, but not right next to each other. I thought that's what you meant.’
Dr. Joseph Dolan: ‘Arnold Babar. Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar?’
Fletch: ‘I don't know. I don't have any.’
Dr. Joseph Dolan: ‘No children?’
Fletch: ‘No elephant books.’

Fletch (upon arrival at Stanwyk’s mansion): ‘Wow, what a coincidence! You know, I came this close to buying this place? Then I found out Hopalong Cassidy killed himself here. Blew it for me.
Stanwyk: 'What?'
Fletch: 'Bow-and-arrow. Very weird.’

~ National Lampoon’s Vacation:

Car Salesman: ‘You mean you didn’t order the Metallic Pea?’
Clark: ‘Metallic Pea?! No! I distinctly ordered the Antarctic Blue super sports wagon--with the CB and optional rally fun pack!’

Wally World Security Guard: 'Sorry, folks--park's closed. The moose out front shoulda told ya.'

Cousin Eddie: ‘How do you like yours, Clark?’
Clark: ‘Oh, medium rare, a little pink inside.’
Cousin Eddie: ‘No, your bun. Light or dark?’
Clark: ‘Either way, it doesn't matter.’
Cousin Eddie: ‘Mmmmm! I don’t know why they call this stuff Hamburger Helper—it does just fine by itself! I like it better than Tuna Helper, myself. Don't you, Clark?’
Clark: ‘You’re the gourmet around here, Eddie.’

Ellen (after shotgun blast at Dodge City): ‘Are you happy now, Clark? She’s deaf!’
Clark: ‘Oh, what’s the difference? It was fun anyway!’

Ellen: ‘Clark, I think we're lost.’
Clark: 'We're not lost. Ellen, please, let me do the driving.'
Ellen: 'I don't think you'll find the Grand Canyon on this road.'
Clark: ‘...It’s only the biggest…hole in the world!’
Aunt Edna: ‘Clark! Watch your language!’
Clark: ‘Make that the second biggest.’

Catherine: 'This little one holding onto my skirt is Daisy-Mabel.'
Clark: 'Well, how old are you little one?'
Eddie: 'Uh, she was born without a tongue, Clark. But don't you worry about her--she can whistle like a bird and eat like a horse!'

~ Smokey and the Bandit:

[Looking at The Bandit in a hammock] Big Enos: ‘Son, you're looking at a legend.’
Little Enos: ‘I guess a legend and an out-of-work bum look a lot a like, daddy.’

Buford T. Justice: ‘Hey boy, where is Sheriff Branford at?’
Sheriff Branford: ‘I AM Sheriff Branford.’
Buford T. Justice: ‘Oh, heh-heh. Pardon me. For some reason you sounded a little...taller on the radio.’

Bandit (to Sheriff Justice): ‘Who ya chasin’? Somebody chasin’ you?’
Sheriff: ‘Nobody chasin’ me, boy. I been chasin’ a…maniac all the way from Texarkana, Texas!’
Bandit: ‘Really?! What is he, a bank robber?’
Sheriff: ‘Bank robber? Bank robbin’ is [nothing] alongside-a what this dude is doin’! Almost killed 10 law officers! Drivin’ through people’s backyards, knockin’ over mailboxes. He’s got a broad in the car, took her across the state line—that’s the Mann Act! I don’t think he’s got her permission—and that’s kidnapping! How’s that for hi-jinks?'

~ Honourable Mention--Cool Hand Luke:
Dragline: 'My boy says he can eat fifty eggs, he can eat fifty eggs.'
Loudmouth Steve: 'Yeah, but in how long?'
Luke: 'An hour.'
Society Red: 'Well, I believe I'll take part of that wager.'